Objectives
By the end of this session, players will be able to:
- Discuss attributes of healthy and unhealthy masculinity
- Identify that they can choose the kind of man they want to be
- Determine how they want to be remembered as men
Talking Points for the Session
- Society, including the media and advertising, is often trying to sell us one particular version of masculinity which tends to be rigid, monolithic, and unchangeable.
- The truth is that there are many ways to be a man, some of which are healthy and some are unhealthy.
- There are plenty of examples of men who are healthy, positive role models for all of us.
- A balanced human being embodies characteristics often assigned to men (strength, courage) and characteristics often assigned to women (love, compassion).
- We all can choose the kind of man we want to be.
Masculinity Exercise & Discussion
(you can use a ball to toss to different players to answer the questions)
Guide players through this mental exercise by reading the statements below, asking the question, and have at least one player respond..
- Think of a man who is a positive role model to you. It could be a relative or a friend or a player or coach.
- Q: What are three of the top qualities you admire about this man?
- Now think of a man who has done things you think are wrong. Again, it could be a relative or a player or a celebrity you don’t personally know.
- Q: What are some of the characteristics you think led this man to make such destructive choices?
- Next think about a man you have seen in an ad, maybe trying to sell you a watch or a car or alcohol.
- Q: What are some of the main characteristics of that man?
- Q: Are these characteristics closer to the positive role model or to the man who did something wrong?
- Lastly think about a woman you admire.
- Q: What are three of the top qualities you admire about this woman?
- Q: Are these characteristics closer to the positive role model or to the man who did something wrong?
- Q: How about to the man in the ad?
- Q: What does this exercise tell you about how we see men in our society?
- Q: How would you like men to be portrayed in the media and advertisements?
Legacy Re-Aloud
(have different players read aloud each bullet point)
- One way to know the kind of man someone was is to look at his obituary (a notice of a death, which usually appears in a newspaper or online). For instance, take Ben Chapman. He won a World Series with the 1930s Yankees and was selected four times to the All-Stars game, but his obituary starts with “Ben Chapman was one of Jackie Robinson’s greatest tormentors when baseball’s color barrier came tumbling down.” He is remembered first as a racist, in spite of all his baseball accomplishments.
- On the other hand, Roberto Clemente’s obituary begins like this: “Roberto Clemente died in a plane crash while traveling at great risk in response to urgent requests to deliver help to earthquake devastated Nicaragua.” He is remembered not only as a great player, but also as a great humanitarian.
- Think what you would like your obituary to say that is not related to baseball. It could be that you were a great father, a loving husband, a true friend. As a father or future coach, especially of boys, the man you chose to be will be observed and passed along, and will be a part of your legacy. It is totally up to you to shape how you will be remembered as a man.
Wrap up and Takeaways
- There’s many ways to be a man.
- You can choose what kind of man you want to be.
- This is how you are going to be remembered.