Objectives
By the end of this session, players will be able to:
- Recognize the importance of talking with their partner and others about what’s okay, or not okay, in their relationships.
- Initiate conversations about setting boundaries in their relationships.
Talking Points for the Session
- Healthy relationships – whether with family, friends, or intimate partners – are built on many things, like communication, mutual respect, and healthy boundaries.
- Recognize the importance of talking with your loved ones – whether family, friends or an intimate partner – about what’s okay, or not okay, in your relationship.
- Initiate conversations about setting healthy boundaries in relationships allowing each other to respect each other’s independence and recognize the importance of positive time together.
- If talking doesn’t seem to be working and the conversation starts to escalate, think about what you need to do to cool down. It could be going for a walk, taking a deep breath, giving a friend a call, talking it over with a family member or coach, or doing something you enjoy to take your mind off the situation.
- Understanding what’s ok or not ok for you can be difficult enough, but figuring how to best communicate that to those around you can at times feel awkward and cause tension. It can also be hard to figure out others’ boundaries and expectations.
Scenario Activity
Scenario:
(have a player read aloud)
Mitchell is 3 years into his career as a Giant and these past few years have been rewarding and challenging at the same time. Mitchell, like all players, had to learn to manage the pressures of being a pro, understanding that the camera is on you any time you’re in public, and adjust to moving to a new city away from his closest friends and family. He was prepared for several of these challenges, but Mitchell has been surprised by the financial expectations put on him by his family. They’ve been very supportive of him and his career from the beginning. With the passing of his mom this past year, his 19 year old younger brother, Steven, recently moved in with Mitchell. At first, Mitchell welcomed Steven’s company, given the comfort and familiarity it provided after the death of their mom and a hard season. With time, Mitchell begins to feel like Steven is taking advantage of him, like when he throws parties without Mitchell’s permission. Mitchell and Steven get into an argument, about the parties Steven is throwing, the mess Steven has left around the house, and that Mitchell feels like he can’t relax at home after the game. Steven yells at Mitchell “You have all this money and this big house what’s the problem!” Then Mitchell yells back “You’re lazy and ungrateful. You just want to take advantage!” From there the argument gets more heated.
Debrief: (you can use a ball to toss to different players to answer the questions)
- Where did this interaction go wrong?
- Is one person more “right” than the other?
- How could this argument have been prevented?
- What does it mean to have healthy boundaries?
- How can Mitchell set healthy boundaries on Steven without being disrespectful?
- Think of a situation where you and someone you cared about – whether family, friends, or intimate partners
– disagreed about something (like how much money to spend).- How did you handle it? Would you handle it differently now?
Wrap up and Takeaways
- Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and healthy boundaries.
- When a disagreement arises, address it directly with the other person in a calm and respectful manner. Explain what’s bothering you so you can both come to a mutual understanding.
- Be clear about your boundaries and try to understand the other’s boundaries too.